Last week at our Pittsburgh Seminary Interim Education Program, I came across a copy of a monograph about the cerlgy spouse called "Shadow Dancing". I didn't read it - I suppose it is about how the minister's spouse must grapple with the problems and opportunities of living in the shadow of the pastor - spouse. The image of shadow dancing did not leave me however.

I'm in between moves right now and my books are stored in boxes in the garage attic. But somewhere is a copy of a book entitled, The Shadow Side. It might be by Jay Congers but I'm not certain. At any rate, he recounts in theory and cases study that effective leaders are often undermined by their "shadow side: - that's the part of myself that I may not see (and you might!); that part of myself that lies quietly under the surface and breaks forth in tumultuous disarray when scratched by stress, criticism, or other combinations of life's underside.

In my classes I make a big deal about the need to be self aware. Only then will we catch the glimses of this shadow as it rears up to undo some, if not all, of the good that I have managed with God's grace.

So shadow boxing is a leadership art of the inner heart. Shadow boxing is not about beating down, it is about knowing where the shadow is, to puch and jab, to keep it at bay. I will never have a knock out punch with my shadow, but if I can get to know my shadow, I can live with it in a way that helps and doesn't hinder.

The more I live in healthy ways in my relationships, inner needs of the ego, sexuality, physical health, the better I am able to live an integrated life. And in that is integrity. At least then the shadows will be short and easier to manage!

Copyright May 2, 2004